Warning Signs

• Is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won´t accept breaking up?
• Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions; doesn't take your opinion seriously?
• Is scary? You worry about how they will react to things you say or do? Threatens you?  Uses or owns weapons?
• Is violent: has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?
• Pressures you for sex, is forceful or scary around sex? Thinks of you as a sex object? Attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying "If you really loved me you would....." Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
• Abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
• Blames you when they mistreat you?  Says you provoked them, pressed their buttons, made them do it, led them on?
• Has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems?
• Believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive?
• Has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked, or physically abused you?
• Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you they were worried for you safety?
• If you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, has threatened to 'out' you to family, friends, or co-workers if you don't comply with certain demands?
• If you are an immigrant, has threatened or tried to turn you in to authorities and get you deported?

• The Second Step at 617-965-3999 or your local domestic violence or sexual assault program
• a police officer
• a member of your family
• a teacher or school counselor
• your friends or their parents
• your priest, minister or rabbi
• a doctor or nurse
• people in court- the district attorney or victim witness advocate
• another adult you trust