“I have a piece of advice for the other women who are experiencing what I've experienced: It's okay to let your abusive relationship go.  I know it is scary, but there are people out there who are willing to help you, like the people at The Second Step.  Please leave before it is too late.”
— LeDawn
Domestic Violence Survivor

Planning for Your Safety

The following information provides a brief overview of how you can increase your personal safety.  Domestic-violence programs can help you identify steps to take to protect yourself.  They can work with you to develop a plan designed just for you.  You may get this information over the phone by calling a hotline or by going in to speak to someone in person.  Most shelters have support groups and provide individual support.

Suggestions for Increasing Safety:

In the Relationship
  • I will have important phone numbers available to my children and myself.
  • I can tell _________ and _________ about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my home.
  • If I leave my home, I can go (list four places): __________, __________, __________, or __________ .
  • I can leave extra money, car keys, clothes, and copies of documents with __________ .
  • If I leave, I will bring __________ (see checklist below).
  • To ensure safety and independence, I can: keep a working cell phone or change for phone calls with me at all times; open my own savings account; rehearse my escape route with a support person; and review safety plan on __________ (date).

When the Relationship Is Over:
  • I can: change the locks; install steel/metal doors, a security system, smoke detectors, and an outside lighting system.
  • I will inform __________ and __________ that my partner no longer lives with me and ask them to call the police if s/hye is observed near my home or my children.
  • I will tell people who take care of my children the names of those who have permission to pick them up.  The people who have permission are: __________, __________, and __________ .
  • I can tell __________ at work about my situation and ask __________ to screen my calls. 
  • I can avoid stores, banks, and __________ that I used when living with my battering partner.
  • I can obtain a protective order from __________ . I can keep it on or near me at all times as well as leave a copy with __________ .
  • If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can call __________ for support or attend workshops and support groups to gain support and strengthen my relationships with other people.

No one deserves to be abused. You can find help and support for yourself. Remember that you are the expert about your own life. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something that's not right for you.

Important Phone Numbers:
Write down the following numbers and keep them with you.
  • Police_______________________
  • Hotline _______________________
  • Friends _______________________
  • Shelter _______________________
  • Doctor _______________________

Items to Take Checklist:
  • Identificaiton
  • Birth certificates for me and my children
  • Social Security cards
  • School and medical records
  • Money, bankbooks, credit cards
  • Keys--house/car/office
  • Driver's license and registration
  • Medications
  • Change of clothes
  • Welfare identification
  • Passport(s), Green Card(s), work permits
  • Divorce papers
  • Lease/rental agreement, house deed
  • Mortgage payment book, current unpaid bills
  • Insurance papers
  • Address book
  • Pictures, jewelry, items of sentimental value
  • Children's favorite toys and/or blankets

Adapted from "Personalized Safety Plan" from Domestic Violence: The Facts, Peace at Home, Inc., 209 Green Street, Third Floor, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130.   617-971-013, Fax: 617-971-0915.
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