Everyone thinks that leaving is the easy part.

Carole would agree. She had thought about it a hundred times. "It's what comes after leaving that stops you," she said. "I have two kids, no money, and nowhere to live. A shelter can only let me stay for 3 months and wouldn't let me keep my kids with me. Besides that, I haven't worked in eight years, and he said he would kill me if I left. So, I can think about leaving as much as I want, but I don't know how we will survive once I do."

Living in an abusive situation is more difficult than most people know. Below are some common misconceptions about domestic violence and the reality that too many women and children face every day.

Myth #1: The number of abused women is a small percentage of the U.S. population.
Reality: Accurate statistics on the number of abused women are not available. Like rape, abuse is a highly under-reported crime. Estimates of the percentage of wives who are abused range from 20-50 percent.

Myth #2: This kind of abuse is restricted to poorly educated families from lower socio-economic classes.
Reality: Abuse is found in all socio-economic classes. An unusually high incidence is found among police, physicians, and men in helping professions. Several studies show a high correlation between increased physical abuse and increased formal education among violent men.

Myth #3: Husbands and wives have always fought. It is natural and, therefore, can't be that bad.
Reality: Naturally there is occasional conflict in every family. The distinguishing feature of abuse is the severity and intensity of the violence. According to the police, the home not the streets is the "nursery school of violence." At least 85% of the men in prison grew up in a violent home. To eliminate violence in society, we must first eliminate violence in the home.

Myth #4: A slap never hurt anyone.
Reality: Domestic violence is distinguished by its frequency. It can last many years, and physical injuries can range from a black eye to broken bones, burst eardrums, split lips, burns, torn scalps, broken teeth, and bruised necks. Women are frequently hospitalized and injuries can even lead to death. Over a third of the murders in America occur when one family member kills another. Another result is a loss of self-esteem and reduced feelings of self-worth and self-confidence.

Myth #5: Abused women are really masochistic and enjoy it. Otherwise, they wouldn't stay.
Reality: Women may be reluctant to leave for a complex set of reasons including shame, fear, lack of money, or concern for the abuser. When a woman does leave, it does not guarantee that the beatings will stop. Batterers will often go to great lengths to trace their spouse or girlfriend in order to continue the abuse.

Myth #6: Abused women are uneducated and have few job skills.
Reality: Unfortunately, abused women are found at every level of education and job skills.

Myth #7: Wives batter their husbands too.
Reality: Yes, this is true. Available figures indicate that there is one abused husband for every 10 abused wives. The difference lies in the extent of the violence.Women receive far greater physical injury than men.

Myth #8: Some women provoke a man and deserve to get beaten.
Reality: No one deserves to be beaten, regardless of the situation. Beatings are generally unpredictable and do not depend on what a woman says or how she acts or whether she is passive or assertive. In addition, beatings tend to increase in frequency and severity over time.

Myth #9: Abusers are psychopathic.
Reality: This is not the case. Abusers may lead normal lives in all aspects except their inability to control their aggressive impulses.

Myth #10: Abusers are violent in all their relationships.
Reality: A small percentage of men are violent with everyone but most abusers are only violent in their intimate relationships.